12.What is the quality you most like in a man? 13.What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Both of these seem the same. I would like to take it as a platonic view first. The qualities I most like in a woman and a man who are going to be my friends, is someone who has integrity, values, virtues, trustworthy, honesty, and humble. I like women who don't put each other down, who are not catty or uptight. I don't care for people who are judgmental. I prefer people who are open minded and smart, empathetic and understanding. I like friends who can act like adults, take the heat, but willing to dish it out if its necessary, when I need a smack to the head.. As for quality I like most in men, especially men I may be interested in, other than all the things I already mentioned there are a few additional items. I like men who like animals and children, men who know their place in the world and honor women and their place. Men who aren't hung up on roles or ideals of how a man should be, or how a woman should be. Men who can look into the heart of a woman and see her beauty, not just her breasts. Men who truly value what it means to be with a good woman, honor her, cherish her, and be there for her. A man who cares for his children and does all he can for them. I like a man who can often times put others first for their own happiness and well being, and sacrifices himself for his kids, and his spouse. Other than a man with a ready smile, happy demeanor, and good sense of humor, a man who is a good friend to his friends, a man who is a good brother, and son as well, and a man who is a good father and man for his woman. Of course I also like physical attributes in men, nice smile, clean appearance, beards are nice, taller than me, a good libido and desire to please me in the bedroom. But what quality do I like most of all, openness. As I feel openness encompasses all the other qualities, as a servant kind of man, servant of God will be open for all virtues, helpfulness, and qualities that I like most in a man.

10.What do you most dislike about your appearance? 11.Which living person do you most despise?

What do I most dislike about my appearance. My middle, I don't like the muffin spare tire of flab in the middle of my body, I don't like the extra weight I have been hanging onto as a crutch for my own emotional distress and lack of wanting to change it, as that would take work. I have done so much to work on the inner me, changed my view and perception of life and others, became more grounded in my faith, released friends and family who were toxic, embraced those who were not. Doing so alone has taken a lot of work, and work I was in dire need of. I noticed I was broken, years of a demanding one sided marriage, I let myself go. I am now ready to embark on changing the weight issue, I'm sure when it's off I'll know there is something else I won't like about my appearance, I hope not though. I put the priority of where it needed to be, my inner person, my core, my me who makes up who I really am. After all, that is what I find most attractive about myself, who I am, and I'm beautiful, despite my frumpy appearance. Doing double duty on this questions and probably will from now on.. the living person I most despise is my ex husband, Michael. He is a taker, and takes so much out of me, our children, and only gives if he's getting something in return. He's exhausting and just his presence makes my skin crawl. I have to work very hard to be a civil person to him, for the sake of our children. I am capable of being upfront, trustworthy, and honest with my children. He is not. I despise who he is, and all his agendas. I cannot wait for the day that I don't have to have anything to do with him. Just a little over 9 more years to go, then I can completely write him off. I've been counting down for several years already.. waiting is the hardest part.

9.On what occasion do you lie?

I try not to, and I don't like to, but saying I don't lie, would be a lie. I lie when a friends hair looks like shit, but she is too drunk to really care, or for it to matter, and I tell her it's fine, and really, it's fine, nobody is looking at her hair anyway, as it's not her best feature and it gets overlooked anyway, but I wouldn't ever tell her that it looks bad. I lie to my father, or more importantly, I omit what he doesn't need to know. My life as a 43 yr old single mother and woman is full of private matters. I lie to my co-workers about what I do in my personal life, whether I went out drinking and dancing on my evenings off, or if I spent a night alone curled up in bed crying or eating a half gallon of ice cream. I lie when people ask me things that are none of their business about me, my life, or what I think about certain things and situations.. I may not out right lie, but sitting in silence or not acknowledging their questions is an omission of truth. I lie to a friend when I think that she is ok, when really, she's a mess. I lie to people when they ask how I am doing, as I don't want to burden them with my issues and have them captured by my rants and raves about injustice and pollution in the world I live in. When I'm sad or upset, I lie that I'm OK. I like to live a private life, and don't want others imposing their ideas or unwanted advice. I lie to keep my life how I want it, I only open up to those who might be in it, and that I am truly interested in. I have no reason to lie, but I also don't have any reason to tell the truth, the whole truth about me, especially to people who are not invested in my well being. I have seen that truth and lies are totally on an as needed to know basis, solely based upon whom you are telling this lie or truth to. Lies are often to protect others feelings, as the idea of wanting the whole truth, the scene resonates of "you can't handle the truth" is probably the most truthful statement in a movie ever. However, I have also said I would rather hear the awful truth over a sweet lie. I think out right total honesty when it comes to matters of the heart is important, in any relationship being truthful is the best action to take. But in the day to day interaction with strangers, and people who are nosy, gossips, sometimes telling them a lie is much much better than the truth.

8.What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

I had to do a little research on this one, and chose the seven virtues according to the Catholic catechism which are: Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience, Kindness, and Humility. I find it odd that this question asks which is most overrated, almost wanting me to admit to my sin and evaluate which of these I have chosen to ignore. Being Catholic and also well versed in which of these are important, and why, it seems as though our human behavior always sets one virtue aside for our own ego, own desires, own self indulgence, the opposite of these virtues are interesting: Chastity-Lust and it doesn't imply just abstaining from sexual encounters, it's about purity, practicing courtly love and romantic friendship rather than sex. Remaining pure from intoxicants as well. Temperance-Gluttony, temperance is simply practicing self control, Prudence to judge between actions with regard to appropriate actions at a given time. Gluttony we know is being overly self indulgent and considering ones actions over others. Charity-Greed, being generous, not just of goods or money, but of time, and self, always thinking what is better for others. Greed and gluttony go well together, usually they are the left and right hands of a corrupt individual. Diligence-Sloth, being diligent in work, steadfast and having a work ethic, upholding one's own actions without being watched, having integrity, not being lazy. Patience-Wrath, having patience teaches us more about others than it does about ourselves, and wrath is going about in an antagonistic manner, causing strife and drama. Patience is grace. Kindness-Envy we do tend to not be very nice to those we envy, kindness is empathy and trust without prejudice or resentment. Envy is causing strife, often times in our own life. Humility-Pride Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self. Being faithful to promises, no matter how big or small they may be. Prideful is all about me, what I do, and how well I do it.. LOOK AT ME, look at what I do, and often times in a martyrdom kind of way. What virtues have I allowed myself to view as overrated? In my own life I have not upheld chastity and patience. I never had any examples of these being upheld and respected. Sexual gratification has been in the media main stream for decades now, and patience, we are a want it now people, especially Americans, we want what we want and we want it NOW. It has even gotten worse with so much instant gratification at our fingertips, including that of sexual gratification. However, I can see where these virtues are very important, had I not viewed them as overrated I know I would have made better choices and been better off overall.

7.What is your current state of mind?

My current state of mind is ever changing. I guess now I am just concerned about my parents, my mothers condition, her impending death, my father's heart and how he will handle losing his wife. My state of mind is about being lonely and not having anyone to really reach out to when I'm distressed. It's hard being away from family when there is somewhat of a tragedy happening back home. I was always the grounded one of my family, and they turn to me on a regular basis. I have also had to be the one in my family to make big changes, to have the courage to do so, and to just make things happen. My parents have been married for 45 years now, and I can hear the sorrow in my fathers voice when I talk to him. He feels helpless in the condition of my mother, but he is also not seeing reality and looking, or hoping, for a miracle. My heart aches for him, for my sisters, and for myself in the coming loss of my mother. Being alone doesn't help, I have friends, but in my time of wanting to be weak, it would be nice to have that shoulder to lean on and cry on.

6.What is your greatest extravagance?

Shoes, shoes, shoes, shoes. I don't need fancy shoes, with cool buckles, heels, and such.. I'm a perfectly happy flip flop kind of girl, but I love shoes that are cool, nice, pretty, and make me feel powerful, hot, and sexy. I thought I was never a shoe girl, I was just a shoe girl who was stifled by a short man. I wore nice cowboy boots, would spend a whole paycheck on a new pair that I didn't need. But then being with a man shorter than me, I didn't feel being in heels was fair to him, so I never wore them again. Two years ago I had gone out to a wedding in NM and looked at a few pair of shoes to go with the dress I bought, and I decided on heels. I bought two pairs, the first two pairs in 17 years. I bought a one inch heel and a two inch heel, so nothing spectacular. This was the same time I filed for my divorce, so I knew my being with a short man days were over, and thus, the heels came out. Since then I've bought several more pairs, and a new pair of boots. The sparkly four inch heels are beautiful, as well as the four inch heel boots.. I love them. It's silly, but I try to make sure I buy a good pair that will be long lasting. I still have to add my practicality into my purchase, and get something I can wear with many outfits and for years to come.

5.Which living person do you most admire?

I cannot pinpoint to any one particular person. There is the kid who has started the clean water project in Africa and has wells dug for villagers. And then this other kid I met in Miami who has started a food drive backpack program that helps underprivileged kids eat over the weekend while not in school. Then there is the Dr. I met who went to Haiti, Africa and other places on a humanitarian effort to provide medical services for the poor. I have a friend who has gone through some heavy trials and still continues to smile every day, I actually have a few of those friends. I admire the people I know personally who give me a daily dose of hope. They appear to be your average human being, going about their day doing their thing, you wouldn't know their history, or what they do by just looking at them. I admire those who in the face of adversity, rise above and continue on. I have those people as my friends, I admire them, am proud of them, and tell them so. If I have to choose from a public figure personality, I would have to say Henry Rollins is the man. He speaks out about women and their rights, gays, and their rights, humanitarian objectives, as well as being planet oriented. He shows that being altruistic can be cool.