Up

The process of always being up is exhausting. We are awake, or "up" all day and it makes our body so tired that we have to go to sleep, we need sleep to restore our body, give our mind a break. It's as essential to our well being as eating, breathing, drinking. We would wear down and literally die from lack of sleep. It's been proven that a person who is overly tired and lacking in sleep drives as though they have been drinking, and tired driving is just as bad as drunk driving. Our mind needs a break. But not just being physically up is exhausting, but emotionally up. Making do with a Mary Poppins attitude on a day to day basis is just as daunting. There has to be a breaking point in everyone who tries to be the good person, doing what others need, and being others oriented. Eventually they have to be self oriented, selfish, and self centered, and bring their emotional strength back to them. There is only so much that anyone can give to others without it eventually imploding. I imploded yesterday. Even as I knew I was falling, and struggling to keep myself up, I was falling and falling and falling. I felt like the loose end of the rope and I could see myself grasping at the threads only for them to break. Eyes wide and tearing, nose dripping, and shaking.. I fell, I imploded. I failed to keep UP. It was OK. I've seen it happen a few times to other people, and having the been there done that perspective of it, I empathize. Always seemingly foolish on the imploding end of my own self, I know it's not perceived as someone having a fit.. It's just the product of someone not being able to keep UP.