friendship schematic

Last night while assisting with a group program, I was talking to another divorcee about not having any friends. I have a few, single friends, but over the last two years my life has changed so much, and so has the schematics of my relationships with others. Seven years ago when I was still in matrimonial blindness, I was part of a very large group of ladies, most of whom were married, had children around the same age of my young two kids, and we all had similar interests. I went to their houses, they came to mine, we did birthday party events for kids, all that regular family jazz. I was a part of something, and the same with my then church family, went to family events, was invited to couples nights, I belonged. For the two years of chaos while I was biting my lip and waiting out my time till I could get out from under my marriage, I did slip away just a little, I resented seeing people happy with their spouses, and having the kind of life I wished I had. So I don't completely blame them, I take responsibility for it as well. When I announced my divorce, so many friends came out of the wood work, were kind, were supportive, were helpful. I needed that, and am grateful. However, as the months went on, I noticed I was invited to less things. Now I made it a point to not talk about my ex, complain, gripe, or anything like that, in all honesty, most people didn't even know there was a problem till I said I was divorcing him. I'm not one to air my dirty laundry. Knowing this, and seeing the contacts dwindle did upset me, but I also expected it. I have learned that married people don't like the example of the divorced person being in their presence, it reminds them that their marriage isn't as good as they would like, or want others to think. I'm also now a threat, their husband may find me attractive, and may want to leave them for me, which I know happens, but for me, it would be a moral implication and a lack of my own self respect and respect for them to allow such a thing. So now that my schematic friendship profile is a lot lighter, and easier to function, and instead of the slew of acquaintances I once had, I now have a handful of cherished friends.