3.What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I thought this one out the most. I deplore and despise my INSECURITY issues. It is a hindering lying long standing, seeded issue that has plagued me for decades. I wish I could find a magic pill that would make my insecurities go away. In essence I somewhat have, it's alcohol, but that just makes me less inhibited. I used to be the person that couldn't make up her own mind, I always needed another opinion, and I often times trusted my parents judgement on my life too much. They are the ones who planted this insecurity seed anyway, through their own fears of the world I didn't learn to trust my own instincts. My insecurities hinder me from taking leaps of faith and stepping out of my comfort zone. My insecurities keep me from going up and talking to that cute guy. My insecurities even keep me from making eye contact at times. It keeps me thinking I'm not good enough, smart enough, skinny enough, just not enough. Insecurities make me feel as though there is a microscope on me at all times. I have the negative self talk that if I try for something I will be mocked, ridiculed and fail. So just don't do it, this comfortable area is much better, if you go out, it might be scary, you might get hurt, you could fail and fall into ruin, don't do it! The voice screams to me. I second guess every decision, I am rarely impulsive and think many things through prior to approaching something important. However, there have been times I have been made to make rash decisions, be quick, not linger, or hinder myself, be decisive and forthright, not back away from conflict, and be someone who is not me. I like this person better, but it comes with a racing heart, wide eyes, and is usually a fight or flight kind of response, not a normal way of thinking, or acting for me. I deplore my insecurities, as it brings out other things I don't like about myself, such as jealousy and fear. Where is my magic pill? I was worse, I guess maybe I did take a magic pill years ago that I didn't know about, it just is a slow release pill. Very slow.